One of my dear friends posted a photo that made me want to rant. Rather than commenting and potentially starting a war, I blocked the two idiots who made comments and decided I would say something here on my blog.
In the last couple years in particular there has been an issue with school administrators sending young women home saying they are dressed inappropriately. This is happening in all grade levels, from my friend who had a preschooler sent home for wearing the same kind of sundress she would wear to church to a high school girl who was sent home because her collarbone showed. Cause that bony area right there? That shit is too sexy for high school.
As a society we have somehow adopted the idea that it is okay for boys and young men to wear pretty much whatever they want, from skin tight underarmour tees as top layers to muscle shirts to unbuttoned Oxford shirts and no one says anything but girls and young women are expected to wear baggy, loose clothing that covers “collar to collar,” (whatever the hell that means) and basically look like shapeless boys. The reasoning behind this is apparently if you’re male in current society looking like one is fine. If you’re female and look like one, you’re automatically a shameless, low-self respect slut looking for attention. And there are people willing to accept this as fucking normal. If you think it is okay to send a four year old home covered in a baggy men’s tee shirt because she wore a sun dress, what the fuck is wrong with you? Yes, let’s start the shaming as early as possible.
You know, somehow generation after generation of young men grew up looking at young women and they didn’t become psychotic unreasoning rapists. And don’t give me any shit about clothing not being as risque. Eroticism in regards to showing skin has always been relative to the fashion of the times. Historically there was once a time where showing ankle was sexy as hell. Men didn’t suddenly jump a young woman because she showed a little or get so distracted they couldn’t work.
This shit absolutely infuriates me. Let’s try to cure social ills by covering girls up like nuns. Yep, blaming them for everything will surely solve the problem. They’re the reason incidents of rape have increased and kids are carrying weapons. It’s those twisted and evil bra straps and that disgusting collarbone that did it. While we’re at it let’s insinuate that every young man is a hormone-driven maniac. I’d be just as pissed if I was the parent of a boy.
Look at fashion from 1965. I pulled up a photograph of the girl’s rifle team. I see collarbones. I see girl’s arms. I see a l’il cleavage. I bet they didn’t worry that Bobby next door was going to chase then through the damn garden.
But hey, you know what I don’t see on the boy’s rifle team? Boy’s arms or collarbones. They’re wearing long-sleeved shirts and ties. They look like gentlemen. Maybe *that’s* the problem! Men no longer dress like men, they dress like thugs!
Sorry but I’m sure most of you would say that’s ridiculous. You don’t judge a young man in a muscle tee and jeans but you’ll judge a girl in a tank top and jeans.
The problem is this and it isn’t up for debate. Our society is no longer one where people accept responsibility. When I was growing up if I fucked up it was my fault. I accepted responsibility and so did my parents. Now, people immediately look for someone else to blame.
Some examples of how screwed up we’ve become:
1965: Child dies in car accident. Parent arrested for reckless driving and involuntary manslaughter. Person accepts responsibility, two years in prison.
2005: Child dies in car accident. Parent cited for speeding, never pays a fine, blames the car for not being safe enough, campaigns for more airbags and wins.
1965: Teen boy rapes teen girl. Teen boy vilified by society, gets 15 years in prison, killed behind bars for raping a teen girl.
1984: Teen boys (plural) rape a teen girl. Boys get probation.
2004: Teen boy rapes teen girl. Boy gets nothing, defense is he was provoked by the girl’s attire.
2014: Teen boy rapes teen girl IN SCHOOL, gets five years probation and community service in a rape crisis center (cause every girl who has been attacked wants a rapist in the building.)
It isn’t the clothing and shaming girls isn’t the solution. Our society is fucked up and we as a people are letting it get that way instead of doing something about it. Too many people are willing to accept easy “solutions” instead of doing the right thing.
Ask yourself one question. Are you part of the problem, teaching your children it’s okay to look for a scapegoat, or are you part of the solution, teaching your kids the right thing?